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your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.
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| Psalm 124
1 If the LORD had not been on our side—
let Israel say-
2 if the LORD had not been on our side
when men attacked us,
3 when their anger flared against us,
they would have swallowed us alive;
4 the flood would have engulfed us,
the torrent would have swept over us,
5 the raging waters
would have swept us away.
6 Praise be to the LORD,
who has not let us be torn by their teeth.
7 We have escaped like a bird
out of the fowler's snare;
the snare has been broken,
and we have escaped.
8 Our help is in the name of the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
Proverbs 24:14
Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul;
if you find it, there is a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer
to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will
is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
This stinks.. bad. It's upsetting when I'm just sitting there thinking about it, but I know God has a greater plan for us than we have for ourselves. A couple of days, months out of the rest of my life is nothing; so I'm good. God is always reassuring me that He's taking care of me, him, and this relationship. It's weird not being able to talk to him as often as I used to, and as much as I want to, but I must put him and his wishes first. He wants time? He's got it. I understand. I mean, I guess I need it too. I'm kind of showing signs of dependency on him so maybe it's better if I get away from it for a bit. It hurts.. like crazy, but it's a sacrifice worth making. If this little bit of pain leads to abundant growth and blessings afterwards, it's all worth it.
In the past five months of praying for each other, we've been through so much. Dealing with the taunts and gibes from the disapproval of other people, especially the parents; my parents. But God got us through it, didn't He? Why stop trusting Him now? He's in control.
Without Him, we wouldn't even have this relationship in the first place. I love how God puts us in these situations, takes us out of them, and allows us to grow spiritually, mentally, and relationally afterwards. He's the foundation of our relationship.
So I guess we do sort of deserve this punishment; at least I know I do. I've been pretty selfish about his whole thing lately; not really putting God first and really letting Him take charge of both my life and this relationship. And I'm sorry. It really is a blessing from God and I should give thanks every day of my life for it. I don't deserve it. No one deserves God's love. And yet here He is, giving it to us unconditionally; continually blessing us every day of our lives.
Before I can love anyone else, I must love God first and foremost. And never ever let anyone get in the way of that. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but I can't love him more than I love God. And that leads to:
If I really love him, then I must put him before me. I must think of his benefits before I think of my own. And I guess that's why I'm really allowing this situation to happen. As hard as it is for me, I try not to call him. He asked for the break, so I must respect that; no matter how much I want to call him up and stay on the phone with him. It's not like it's forever so I'll live. But it's just really, really hard.
He's the first person I talk to in the morning, the person I go to after a long day of school, and the last person I talk to before I go to sleep. It's weird not having him there for me anymore. But again, I must think of him and his needs.
This is starting to go in circles and I'm not really sure what the point of writing this was. But what i do know is that,
I miss him. Ridiculously. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 - 18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. | | |
| Okay, so my background makes me seem kind of cocky. But I wanted to change my layout cos Jill told me to update this. So I needed to have a new background for a fresh beginning. But I can't really do a real update because my sister is just about to take the computer. So until then. Facebook or MySpace me. :]
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| get over him, he's not worth it. hes not worth your time or your tears. you loved him, i know. and you cant see yourself with anyone but him, i get that. ive been there. but why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who hes with. do you honestly think hes thinking about you? no. sure it hurts that hes out there falling in and out of 'love' with other girls. you'll see him with one of his new girlfriends, and he'll hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter because he KNOWS your watching, and he knows its killing you. dont let him get to you because thats exactly what he wants. so what if he doesnt talk to you, do you honestly want to be friends with an asshole like him anyways? all hes gonna do is talk about his new girlfriend just to try and make you jealous. screw him and his girlfriend. he'll be sorry, trust me. when he finally sees you with some other guy other than him, with that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he'll realize how happy you are. and how happy your boyfriend is because he has you, the girl of his dreams. he'll realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you. when he decided he just didnt love you the same. trust me, he will be sorry. so dont go on spending your nights waiting for that one phone call you know your never going to get, or that IM you know he'll never send you simply because he likes to ignore you. he likes to pretend he doesn't see you online, because he knows its killing you when he looks past you and when you read his profile where you see her name and how much he loves her. hold your head up, show him your better than him and you dont need him. prove to him that he just made the biggest mistake of his life, and you never really needed him anyways. | | |
| its UNDER CONSTRUKSHUN.
but while waitin for it, CLiCK iT.
*+add me* | | |
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